A Light in the Darkness
A written transcript of video blog:
Hey y’all so I'm going to talk to you about a topic that I think for whatever reason as far as we've come in mental health continues to be a hard topic to talk about. It seems like, as a culture, we are better able to talk about depression in more concrete or intellectualized ways (i.e. knowing the signs and symptoms or knowing some things you can do to cope). However, I think we still struggle to talk about this topic in personal ways, so I would like to attempt to do that in the video/blog.
Depression might not look like what we think. Depression is something that many people struggle with so please know if you experience this, you're not alone. If you are struggling right now and you're thinking I am feeling an overwhelming weight on me, you're not alone. Unfortunately, depression is lonely and feelings of isolation feelings or withdrawal from others can cause us to feel alone in our depression. We may even withdraw from ourselves by doing things like distracting ourselves, or numbing which can make it hard to really be with ourselves. The isolation and withdrawal for ourselves and others can take away from the reality that this is a shared struggle by so many so you are not alone even though you may feel alone.
We often associate characteristics such as sadness, withdrawal, isolation, and anhedonia as part of depression. (Anhedonia basically means we stop enjoying the things we used to enjoy or maybe we don't enjoy them as much i.e. when life just loses its flavor and tastes bland or even numb). Perhaps when those symptoms get “bad enough” we think “I'm going to give somebody a call.” One, you don’t have to wait until it gets to an unbearable point. Also, it can look different than how we may perceive depression to look/be. For some, it might feel more agitating and one may feel more irritable, sleepless or restless. It might be combined with feelings of anxiety (Many people struggle with both depression and anxiety). We may still have spurts of productivity, that might disguise the fact that one is also really suffering and struggling. I say this as a clinician who has worked with clients for years who struggle with depression but, candidly, if we aim to destigmatize depression: it is something that I have also struggled with in my life.
Personally and professionally, I have found being able to know and understand depression. Offer ourselves compassion and maybe start to understand “hey this is what this looks like for me, this is what this feels like for me, here are some signs that I'm not okay. I may appear fine in some ways, but I'm really not.” Often, that is the first step in acknowledging this cloud or darkness you feel and beginning to manage it in a nurturing way. Maybe we can also start to confront some of the myths or lies that come with it if part of one’s depression includes distorted, negative, or unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. They say there are four horsemen of relationship concerns. I, personally, feel like there's like there are three horsemen of depression:
· Helplessness,
· Hopelessness, and
· Worthlessness.
So when you start to feel helpless, as though “Nobody can possibly help me.” “I'm just stuck here.” “There's no way out of this abyss.” Or when you start feeling hopeless i.e. “I just don't see around the corner. I cannot see around that corner.” Or when you start feeling worthless and you start telling yourself things such as, “I'm not worthy of friendship.” “I'm not worthy of this person's time.” “I'm not worthy of love.” “I'm not worthy of good things.” Those self-statements are when depression can become really paralyzing even and dangerous. So… when those feelings are present please pick up the phone. Please call somebody, because there is hope, I promise. There is help, it's there even if it doesn't feel like it's there. And most and you are a precious, wonderful, special, and unique person who is person worthwhile, I promise.
*Link to local support resources: https://mhahouston.org/mental-health-resources
